The women that look as if they were sculpted by Michelangelo himself.
The men that are as fit and as skilled as Batman. (In addition to the ladies at the side.)
The couples that seem to have a love extracted straight out of the movie The Notebook.
The families that are saturated with smiles and laughs looking like The Brady Bunch 2.0.
The dude in the high rise hotels coupled with the ocean in the background chattering about how he was poor and now super rich, and his irritating signal to:
“Just Click Here”.
And any other human parading in their mostly fabricated story lines and flawless facades, are, and let me clear:
No Special Than Anyone Else
However, the issue is when we COMPARE ourselves to them.
Anyone can find someone that is where they want to be physically, academically, emotionally, financially and post their photo on the wall for a source of motivation; this is great, we should all do this to some degree.
Comparing is a little different.
That’s when we look at what others have, then what we have, consequently producing a set of conclusions about ourselves.
And this comparing happens almost instantly, especially on social media platforms theses days where, it is literally the best place to pretend.
After glancing over even a few photos within a few seconds:
Instantly, we feel less attractive.
We feel out of shape and maybe straight fat.
We think a happy relationship for us is out of the question.
Our families are now extremely dysfunctional in our eyes.
We feel poorer.
We feel lesser as people.
The charlatans can really do a number on us.
The woman with the sculpted body probably did not get a single curve from lifting. (Her genetics did 93.9% of the work.)
The wanna-be Batman probably paid those women to ride around with him, and those cars are likely rentals.
The super happy couples probably fight more than couples that are about to end.
The Brady Bunch is NOT real.
The gentleman going on about how he went from rich to poor, overnight, doing something very simple, is probably broke as fuck.
Any woman can get in shape.
Becoming Batman is not a realistic life goal. (Not to say you couldn’t get a lot money to then go and waste that money on women, cars, and a secret cave.)
All couples fight, shit, over 50% of marriages fail don’t they?
All families are imperfect, and this is okay.
Anyone can escape a career in which they feel trapped; gaining new insight as to a direction that may lead to a career they would feel more at home or fulfilled partaking in.
And because most of us are not traveling up Mount Personal Development, there is nothing that comes after the comparison to others.
We see how much better they are in some categories and we move on.
Some humans may not think twice about it.
Some humans, will add these observations to the personal deficiency department in their brain.
What’s worse, some of us will not only see what we lack as a person; we move forward believing that we can’t attain something alike.
Comparing can lead to a complete disliking of ourselves, or, with time, something even worse: a hatred for ourselves.
Even the talented can be outclassed by those that had to develop their most prized abilities from scratch. (Do you remember that dude that played for the Chicago Bulls?)
Some human characteristics we will never have, we can’t do anything about it.
However, no matter how we look at it, we too are humans the same.
We have the capacity to become better people, more skilled, and become a person that, perhaps, inspires others to become what they always thought they couldn’t.
We too can change the story of:
I’m not as good as many other people, I suck. I’m essentially worthless.”
“I would have never thought I could accomplish something like that; man, I am pretty fucking awesome after all.”
This will never be possible if all we do is sit around and compare our defects and inadequacies to those that presumably “have it all”.
Even if they seem like they do.
If we’re going to be comparing anyone to anything, it should be with who we always wanted to be, and who we are now.
Spending excessive time learning all that is required to get them to become the same person.
Any of us can get caught in a seemingly inescapable loop of thinking we are are inadequate compared to others.
We will learn to like ourselves more if we improve on that which we lack, or acquire what we don’t have.
Likewise, we will have a hard time learning to like ourselves if we render all we are, as well as our lives, deficient.
We can accomplish such a task, if, we are willing to put in the effort.