Depression, Depression Paradoxes

Apathy

Low self-esteem brings the evaluations of our selves to depreciative levels.

Pessimism brings the doubtful, irritable, Oscar the Grouch-like worldview’s.

Motivational issues bring the halt of productivity which extend down to the minuscule, like, getting out of bed.

Apathy. . . brings the disconnection.

The original term in Greek would be defined as, “without feeling”.

A term more familiar to us that may be, or in fact is, associated with apathy would be, indifference.

And in this indifference, it is a bit more than perhaps losing the satisfaction of things like in Reduction of Gratification but more so a complete cognitive and emotional disjoining to the world.

So, not a matter of not wanting to do something or feeling anything from it, but to the point in which it would be safe to say: one never knew it.

Wikipedia’s definition of apathy is:

a lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern about something. It is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical, virtual, or physical life and the world.

All of the other paradoxes, as well as the symptoms, bring their own kind of unique suffering to the table, but this particular one has an eerie feeling to it.

For instance, when I was walking around in this state for long enough, it, and it’s empty and severed state became one of the main rationalizations in my mind for the ultimate escape as I was unable to see any reason to not do so.

Losing the want to go and do the things you love to do or be around the ones you love is different than NOT feeling anything for the things you loved, and the people you have loved all of your life.

A great illustration for this state is the cord being pulled from the wall socket.

Further, it may not come and go after it has developed, it is likely it can be present and ever persistent, this disconnected affect we can think of and being, unplugged.

One becomes disinterested in the world around them and, strangely, disinterested in everything they have once been connected to.

This feeling in itself seems to be enough to make someone seek help.

Another way this state has been explained is an absence of feeling.

A common phrase one may hear in the room with some depressed folk that may have reached this degree is, “I’m dead inside.

Of course to those that minimize the illness or perhaps have never experienced it, this could very well be overlooked as dramatizing by the alleged depressed person and thus, ignored.

In spite of this fatuous reasoning- in a very real way, the person has in fact lost their ability to feel, anything.

What worsens matters at times with depression is the moving parts that interact with one another as well as the layers of depressive sediment. For instance, in this case, potentially, the person may perceive this as a confirmation that they simply aren’t good enough to have anything they can feel attached to or perhaps this is something they think they deserve; this, empty and alone, place. Moreover, in addition to being separated from the world as they know it, they take it as evidence of a personalized punishment for themselves, as a result, of these presumed deficiencies.

The world, because we have lost most of our connection to it, becomes a place of no purpose, no meaning.

The reasons for sticking around become sparse, and in some cases, according to us, are non-existent.

This is one aspect of the apathy that makes it perhaps more of a concern than other features of depression. Some people already want to escape their situation, or their life, and now they have most of what makes them want to hold on longer, taken away.

It almost makes an escape seem like the most viable option at that point.

We lose feeling.

And purpose.

And reason to go on.

Perhaps not all people will be enticed to head out tp the next world, but if they do stay it may not be as different as they will reside in an empty space of nothingness.