One of the paramount symptoms of this illness is a low self evaluation. We may have heard this symptom described in another way, low self esteem, however, understanding it to be a low evaluation is actually a bit more direct in to the fundamental aspect behind it.
For instance, imagine for a moment if we were able to step out of our bodies, still being alive, and were, at least for a moment of time, now free to look, follow, and observe ourselves as best as we can. After we have gathered enough data about what we see, we would then give an evaluation of ourselves.
In a general sense, or at-least what we humans would want to strive to, is a higher evaluation than below average.
Now, all human are susceptible to such a disliking of themselves as to the point in which they give themselves a sucky grade as a person, but in the case of us depressed folk, this is symptom is super common. In fact, it could very well be an indication that the person may already have a kink in their self-esteem.
In our eyes, how we view ourselves, specifically areas that mean something to us or did once upon a time; we are deficient. When the other people around us and the comparison mechanisms get activated, now we are super, deficient. (Because we suck in our eyes and , suckier than everyone else) Cognitions like, “I suck.” or “I am suckier than everyone else”, which can become more absolute like, “I am unworthy”, and “I am inadequate”.
Which may not seem like very big deals but the thoughts and beliefs they develop in to have a tremendous foothold on our behavior. And, with us folk in this category, it can lead to extra dark places.
we show an excessive reaction to our own errors and difficulties. The abnormalities we find in ourselves become how we view ourselves. That is, not as people, but as a walking, talking defect.
a lot of what we think about now is about our deficiencies. And not just a matter of casually glancing over why we suck but this thoughts cloud out thinking. It is almost a constant reminder of our presumed inadequacies. We lose confidence. We stop doing and believing we are capable of doing things we had no problem doing before. We officially dislike ourselves.
our evaluations now are about as much in the dirt as they will become. In addition to the clouded thoughts about how much we don’t like, now we have turned against ourselves. Imagine being a comedian, but all of your jokes were about you, but we aren’t trying to make anyone laugh, we’re just on some sort of never-ending downgrading skit about ourselves. We begin to consider ourselves worthless. We begin to think the world and everyone in it would be better without us.